


Sard!

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds, Spencer Reid - Fandom
Genre: Broken Finger, F/M, Reader-Insert, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 22:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11390106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Sard!

“Spence!” you screamed, watching as your less than graceful boyfriend tripped and fell down a ridge in pursuit of an unsub. “Spence, are you okay?”

As you peered over the edge, you prayed he called back to you. “Go!” you screamed to Emily, who’d stopped momentarily to check on Spencer. “Go!” She, Hotch and Morgan ran ahead, while Rossi and JJ followed you down the ridge. “Spence! If you can hear me, answer me, dammit!”

“I’m here!” he screamed, the gruffness of his voice surprising you. When he sounded like that he was either horny or in pain…ironically. 

You slid down the ridge, remaining careful while you held on to twigs and branches. “Why did you two follow me? This is gonna be a pain in the ass to get out of here. Are you okay, Spence?” He was so close and yet so far. 

“My left hand is fucked!” he screamed. Oh no. When you finally approached him, JJ and Rossi grimaced. Spencer’s pinky finger was bent at an awful angle. “I can’t feel anything.”

You chuckled softly as you pushed through the brush he’d fallen into. His finger was definitely doing to need to be set, but it didn’t look to bad. “Okay, Dr. Reid, let’s try and get a bit more specific for me, please. Are you feeling numbness anywhere else on your body? Up the arm? In the hand? I need specifics.”

Grabbing your hand with his good one, he pulled himself up off the floor with JJ and Rossi right behind him, their hands under his arms for extra support. “My ring finger is slightly numb,” he breathed, looking up from where he fell with fire in his eyes. He was the one closest to the unsub when he fell, so not only was he in pain, but he was pissed off too.

Gently, you flipped his hand over, checking for a distal pulse. If that couldn’t be found you were going to set his finger and put it in a splint once you got him back up the ridge. “Okay, babe, this isn’t gonna be pleasant, but I can’t feel the distal pulse, so that finger needs to be set and I would prefer not to wait.”

Spencer was not good when it came to pain. His eyes darted around, trying to figure out a way around and back to town that might allow him to get some drugs in his system, but that wasn’t happening any time soon. He probably could wait a few hours, but considering you were a doctor, you wanted to do it now. “Must we?”

“Do you want nerve damage?” you asked. Spencer hung his head against your hand. 

“Shouldn’t we wait?” he asked.

Smiling, you huffed at your boyfriend. Sure he was in pain, but you knew what he was saying. “What? For a medical professional? Here I am, baby.”

“But even medical professionals can do it wrong if they aren’t careful, and as much as I hate hospitals, we aren’t in a hospital setting, and-” He kept going and going. He knew nearly everything. He knew that especially without medication, this was not going to be a pleasant experience. 

As he rambled, you gave Rossi and JJ a look. They were about to hear some colorful and archaic language come out of your boyfriend’s mouth. “Are you saying I won’t be careful, Spence?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…oh dammit. Fine.” You gently took his hand again, needing to get a good grip on it in order to apply the type of pressure you needed to. But each time you did it, he winced a bit and pulled away which caused you to lose your grip. “Spencer Walter Reid! Stop being a whiffle-whaffle.” 

“Your middle name is Walter?” Rossi asked. “And what the hell is a whiffle-whaffle?”

“It’s an Old English insult for someone who is indecisive and wastes time. You are fucking with your nerves Spencer, stay still.” JJ sucked her lips in, barely able to stifle the laughter that was bubbling from within - seeing Spencer so flustered and indecisive was amusing. 

Again, you grabbed his hand and placed your opposing hand on his pinky., making sure you had a good grip before applying a steady pulling pressure. After a few seconds, you felt a pop, but you definitely couldn’t hear it - not over Spencer. “Zounds, sard, harridan, beardsplitter!” The words flew out of his mouth in rapid succession. He stepped back and shook his hand a bit, looking at his pinky and attempting to move it; he could - the bone was back in. You just needed to splint it when you got back and you would be insisting he get checked at the hospital anyway, whether he liked it or not.

Your head snapped back as you laughed to the skies at your boyfriend’s colorful language; you knew it was coming. Rossi’s old man confused face was one for the ages; you almost wanted to take a picture of him, and JJ was just exasperated. “What the hell did you just say?” She held her hand against her ear. “I think my ears are bleeding now.”

“Care to explain what the hell you just said?” Rossi asked again. “And why are you two like this?”

In an instant, your laughter stopped and you gave him a death glare. “I take offense to that. I’m assuming you’re talking about the Old English? Because it’s fun, and people have no idea what the hell we’re talking about, which makes it even funnier.”

Once Spencer was done having a mini heart attack, you checked his hand again and felt his pulse. He just needed a splint and he’d be fine. “As for what he said, zounds is just an exclamation of shock. Sard is an Old English word for fuck. Harridan, and that one I should kill you for Dr. Reid, means a strict old woman-”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ laughed. “You are in trouble.”

“And last but not least, beardsplitter is a Victorian word for penis, so I believe my boyfriend just called me a dick. I’ll remember that.” You smirked. 

Looking around, you searched for the best way back up the ridge so that Spencer didn’t have to put any pressure on his bad hand. When you glanced to the side, you caught sight of a less steep area and ushered everyone toward it. “How’s your hand feeling?”

“Better,” he replied. “Not great, but better.” He came up by your side as Rossi and JJ took the rear. You’d asked them to go up after you so in the event Spencer fell backward, he wouldn’t end up in the same position again.

“You know,” you began, smiling in Spencer’s direction as you made your way up the ridge, “When I was on my way down, once I knew you were okay that is, I was thinking, oh my poor babe, he’s in pain, maybe I’ll give him a little loving tonight. But then you called my an old lady and a dick in the same breath and now I’m thinking not so much.”

JJ and Rossi started giggling behind you as Spencer’s face went from excited to disappointed in a matter of seconds. “Oh, come on, really?” he asked. He stopped in place and looked toward you, desperate for you to turn around, but you just kept moving. “I was in pain! Doesn’t that count for anything!? I didn’t mean it! I love you!”

You’d take pity on him, but right now this was too much fun.


End file.
